I've listened to a lot of women, both straight and queer, talk about sex through the years, and there are, in my experience, two normal reactions to experiencing pain during sex. Note: I can pretty much guarantee that your cervix is not a secret vampire. Both of these are driven by one thing: misinformation. You're probably not going to die, but you still should get it checked out. The cure for pain during intercourse may be simpler than you think. There are two key things that you should know about pain during sex. One, you're not alone, not even vaguely.
From time to time I receive a query from a girlfriend wondering if her potential new partner is perhaps too large. One of the perks of having an obstetrician and gynecologist as a friend is you can ask everything — and get informed answers. I remind them that vaginas have been finely tuned by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution to stretch. If they are interested and if this gentleman is a safe choice, personally and medically, then break out the lubricant and have a ball.
The uncomfortable and accidental kind of pain, not the kinky fun kind. It happens way more than you might think. Provided that everyone is an enthusiastic and consenting adult, of course. More on that here. That's according to research recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The researchers used data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, a nationally representative survey that was conducted on the internet. The study participants answered questions about experiencing pain during sex, including how long the pain lasted, and where on their bodies they felt the pain.
But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. A: Thanks so much for your question.